If you're a person who seldom or never watches sports on TV, the following guide will help you understand the jargon you may hear during the course of a sporting event. If you're a hardcore sports fan, the following should sound familiar to you and will act less like a guide, but more as a refresher course on what a sportscaster ACTUALLY is saying.
Today's guide will focus on Player Terms.
A Player's player: Contrary to what you may think, this means the player is well-respected by his teammates, as opposed to its other definition: To be a player owned or possessed by another player.
The Player's player is normally only OK at best at the game, but makes up for crappy athleticism with good old fashion perseverance.
Examples
NBA: Derrek Fisher, PG LA Lakers
NFL: Kevin Faulk, RB New England Patriots
MLB: Jason Kendall, C Milwaukee Brewars
Professional hitter: Technically all non-pitching baseball players are "professional hitters," so what the hell is the difference between a professional hitter, and a hitter who just happens to be professional?
This term is applied to those guys who only hit singles (because they're often too slow to beat a throw to second base). Because collecting singles is their only real asset to a team, these guys normally suck at defense, too. Professional Hitters also don't show emotion and are a boring person to hear interviewed. This is not because they were born to hit, rather created by Dr. Silberman, lead scientist for CyberTech during the late 90's .
ex: John Olerud and BJ Surhoff, both formerly of the Baltimore Orioles
Ex: Jamie Moyer (left), age 45, Philadelphia Phillies
Innings Eater- This is another term for a below average pitcher. They "eat" innings, where as a good pitcher is just a good pitcher. You don't hear Johan Santana described as an innings eater, you hear he's an ace, or he's filthly or he's a stud. Joe Blanton on the other hand, is an innings eater, and he's eating a lot more than innings if you looked at him.
Note: Blanton is the exception to the rule as a majority of Baseball's 'inning eaters' are Latin.
ex: Livan and Orlando Hernandez
Wiley Veteran: This term is glossed to people whose skills have diminished but somehow make up for it with experience and smarts. Has anything else besides the coyote and a veteran been described as wiley?
ex: Brett Favre
Grizzled Vet: The "wiley veteran's" long lost brother. The grizzled vet has been around forever and knows everything about the game. He also always seems to have some sort of beard working, or at least some scruff. This is his way of paying homage to the first Grizzle, Grizzly Adams.
Ex. Jake Taylor (catcher from the movie Major League)
Not afraid to get dirty: Contrary to most professional athletes who are afraid to get dirty because they don't want their mom (undoubtedly seen in the Campbell's soup commercials) to yell at them for getting grass stains on those white pants again, these guys go for it anyway. They dive, not just when necessary, but for anything. The ball might be 10 feet over their head, but they're gonna make the highlight reel or dye (their pants)* trying.
*Pun of the year award to Pat Henderson.
Quiet leader/leads by example: These guys "lead by example" for one reason. They have no personality. These players are good at one thing, playing. Social settings make them uncomfortable and they have only one M.O.: get their work in and get the hell out. They keep to themselves, they don't bother talking to anyone, and because of this they default into "leading by example" which they didn't sign up for, because they'd be uncomfortable with that, too.
Ex: Marvin Harrison (When he's not shooting at people)
Good clubhouse guy: A player who essentially is useless on the field, but because of his ability to make some of the players laugh or break up a fight, he gets paid the league minimum to stay on the squad.
Sean Casey, Kevin Millar
Paying the ultimate price/sacrifice: Can you really be considered giving the ultimate sacrifice if you're getting paid in excess of $500,000? Apparently you can. Funny, I always thought the ultimate sacrifice was giving your life. In sports things aren't as grave, so ultimate sacrifice refers to a players' ability to practice regularly, AKA doing their job. Also putting yourself in harm's way to dive after a ball is considered paying the price as well.
Not example: Allen Iverson
Plays the game right: This player sucks. There's no other way to say it. He practices like it's the championship, and you like to have him as a teammate, but you also don't. He sucks worse than you, he just has the "heart of a champion," "has the will to win," "puts his team ahead of him." Bottom line: If this loser had even a shred of athletic talent, he'd be awesome, but also wouldn't try so hard.
i.e. Rudy Ruettiger
Knows what to do with the ball: Sure, some players catch the ball and go the wrong way with it...
...But, not "knows what to do with the ball" guy though. He's smart enough to keep dribbling, or run toward the correct endzone. This is the guy who won't do something dumb to embarrass the team or himself in the process.
A flair for the dramatic: This player scares the shit out of you. He is your closer who walks the bases loaded in the bottom of the 9th in a 1 run game with 0 outs and strikes out the next 3 hitters. He's the basketball player who when you're down by 2 takes a fade-away 3 from the corner with 2 guys on him, he's the quarterback who throws deep into double coverage on 4th and 1 when the tight end is open 5 yards out. Most importantly he's lucky and succeeds, because if he failed in doing this, he wouldn't HAVE "a flair for the dramatic" he would HAVE to find a new job.
Seasoned Pro: This could mean that he's been touched up with herbs and spices, but it doesn't. Instead, he's just an old dude still playing ball.
A "Competitor": We know sportscaster guy, all athletes are competitors in some way. They are after all "competing for the ultimate prize." But a competitor borders on nuts. They will do anything to win. Bite an ear off, amputate a finger, etc.
ex: Ronnie Lott once amputated part of his finger after fracturing it during a game so he could keep playing.
Sometimes there's blatant stereotype put against the white folk who play sports. Thanks to the movie, "White Men Can't Jump" and also supported by the fact that white
people for the most part, can't jump, you may hear the following described about a white athlete.
Deceptively fast/underrated speed: Even if this guy was the fastest guy on the field, he's deceptively fast? Why? Because he's white. Obviously. There's no way he should be able to run that fast, but somehow he overcomes his skin color. span>
Today's guide will focus on Player Terms.
A Player's player: Contrary to what you may think, this means the player is well-respected by his teammates, as opposed to its other definition: To be a player owned or possessed by another player.
The Player's player is normally only OK at best at the game, but makes up for crappy athleticism with good old fashion perseverance.
Examples
NBA: Derrek Fisher, PG LA Lakers
NFL: Kevin Faulk, RB New England Patriots
MLB: Jason Kendall, C Milwaukee Brewars
Professional hitter: Technically all non-pitching baseball players are "professional hitters," so what the hell is the difference between a professional hitter, and a hitter who just happens to be professional?
This term is applied to those guys who only hit singles (because they're often too slow to beat a throw to second base). Because collecting singles is their only real asset to a team, these guys normally suck at defense, too. Professional Hitters also don't show emotion and are a boring person to hear interviewed. This is not because they were born to hit, rather created by Dr. Silberman, lead scientist for CyberTech during the late 90's .
ex: John Olerud and BJ Surhoff, both formerly of the Baltimore Orioles
Crafty Lefty – A baseball term applied to left-handed pitchers ONLY. There is never, and nor will there ever be a crafty Righty (despite Paul Byrd's best attempts to be the first). In this phrase, "crafty" means two things: old, and they can't throw anything over 80 MPH.
Ex: Jamie Moyer (left), age 45, Philadelphia Phillies
Innings Eater- This is another term for a below average pitcher. They "eat" innings, where as a good pitcher is just a good pitcher. You don't hear Johan Santana described as an innings eater, you hear he's an ace, or he's filthly or he's a stud. Joe Blanton on the other hand, is an innings eater, and he's eating a lot more than innings if you looked at him.
Note: Blanton is the exception to the rule as a majority of Baseball's 'inning eaters' are Latin.
ex: Livan and Orlando Hernandez
Wiley Veteran: This term is glossed to people whose skills have diminished but somehow make up for it with experience and smarts. Has anything else besides the coyote and a veteran been described as wiley?
ex: Brett Favre
Grizzled Vet: The "wiley veteran's" long lost brother. The grizzled vet has been around forever and knows everything about the game. He also always seems to have some sort of beard working, or at least some scruff. This is his way of paying homage to the first Grizzle, Grizzly Adams.Ex. Jake Taylor (catcher from the movie Major League)
Not afraid to get dirty: Contrary to most professional athletes who are afraid to get dirty because they don't want their mom (undoubtedly seen in the Campbell's soup commercials) to yell at them for getting grass stains on those white pants again, these guys go for it anyway. They dive, not just when necessary, but for anything. The ball might be 10 feet over their head, but they're gonna make the highlight reel or dye (their pants)* trying.
*Pun of the year award to Pat Henderson.
Quiet leader/leads by example: These guys "lead by example" for one reason. They have no personality. These players are good at one thing, playing. Social settings make them uncomfortable and they have only one M.O.: get their work in and get the hell out. They keep to themselves, they don't bother talking to anyone, and because of this they default into "leading by example" which they didn't sign up for, because they'd be uncomfortable with that, too.
Ex: Marvin Harrison (When he's not shooting at people)
Good clubhouse guy: A player who essentially is useless on the field, but because of his ability to make some of the players laugh or break up a fight, he gets paid the league minimum to stay on the squad.
Sean Casey, Kevin Millar
Paying the ultimate price/sacrifice: Can you really be considered giving the ultimate sacrifice if you're getting paid in excess of $500,000? Apparently you can. Funny, I always thought the ultimate sacrifice was giving your life. In sports things aren't as grave, so ultimate sacrifice refers to a players' ability to practice regularly, AKA doing their job. Also putting yourself in harm's way to dive after a ball is considered paying the price as well.
Not example: Allen Iverson
Plays the game right: This player sucks. There's no other way to say it. He practices like it's the championship, and you like to have him as a teammate, but you also don't. He sucks worse than you, he just has the "heart of a champion," "has the will to win," "puts his team ahead of him." Bottom line: If this loser had even a shred of athletic talent, he'd be awesome, but also wouldn't try so hard.
i.e. Rudy Ruettiger
Knows what to do with the ball: Sure, some players catch the ball and go the wrong way with it...
...But, not "knows what to do with the ball" guy though. He's smart enough to keep dribbling, or run toward the correct endzone. This is the guy who won't do something dumb to embarrass the team or himself in the process.
A flair for the dramatic: This player scares the shit out of you. He is your closer who walks the bases loaded in the bottom of the 9th in a 1 run game with 0 outs and strikes out the next 3 hitters. He's the basketball player who when you're down by 2 takes a fade-away 3 from the corner with 2 guys on him, he's the quarterback who throws deep into double coverage on 4th and 1 when the tight end is open 5 yards out. Most importantly he's lucky and succeeds, because if he failed in doing this, he wouldn't HAVE "a flair for the dramatic" he would HAVE to find a new job.
Seasoned Pro: This could mean that he's been touched up with herbs and spices, but it doesn't. Instead, he's just an old dude still playing ball.
A "Competitor": We know sportscaster guy, all athletes are competitors in some way. They are after all "competing for the ultimate prize." But a competitor borders on nuts. They will do anything to win. Bite an ear off, amputate a finger, etc.
ex: Ronnie Lott once amputated part of his finger after fracturing it during a game so he could keep playing.
Note for White players"Lott, of course, had the tip of his left pinky finger amputated from an injury suffered during the 1985 season. Sacrifices are part of the game, but Lott doesn't have any regrets other than the fact that his finger "looks like E.T.'s head." Lott compares it to a woman who needs to have her breast removed after discovering she has breast cancer and says his sacrifice is not as great as hers or the U.S. soldiers fighting overseas. Lott has no idea where his amputated finger is now, nor does he care.
- Dan Patrick Show
Sometimes there's blatant stereotype put against the white folk who play sports. Thanks to the movie, "White Men Can't Jump" and also supported by the fact that white
people for the most part, can't jump, you may hear the following described about a white athlete.
Deceptively fast/underrated speed: Even if this guy was the fastest guy on the field, he's deceptively fast? Why? Because he's white. Obviously. There's no way he should be able to run that fast, but somehow he overcomes his skin color. span>
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